I’m not going to pretend. I am overwhelmed. These past several weeks have been hard and the next few months look tough.
It started with two weeks of quarantine for half of my family. As the only person who could go to stores I felt a lot of anxiety in the beginning about securing food. Mostly because my son who has autism is accustomed to certain foods at specific times of the week. I lay in bed nights worrying about his response if what he expected to be there wasn’t.
Next, and continually enduring, is adjusting to distance schooling. My husband is a teacher so he is working a lot of hours continually revamping what he has usually done into a new format. My son pretty much refuses to do any schoolwork at all. He cannot articulate what he is thinking but it appears school work belongs at school, not at home. On this, he will not budge. My daughter has had a very difficult time adjusting to distance learning. It has been very hard.
I’m overwhelmed by the volume of emails from my son’s school and from the amount of Zoom meetings for both my children. Please, no more passwords or user IDs. I just can’t. I worry about too much screen time and all sorts of other things.
On top of the concerns of my immediate family, I worry about my parents who are in their 80s and for safety reasons I cannot see them. My dad already has lung problems and obviously needs to be very careful. I feel bad I can’t see them.
It seems my role for my family is one of encourager. However, I am weary, I am overwhelmed. I sense the anxiety and stress in my home and it is difficult to know what to do. One thing that makes all of this hard is we don’t know when it will end.
I have much to be grateful for – good health, a safe home, loving family, and steady income. I know this, but I still feel tired.
In times of uncertainty it is good to look at what is certain. I don’t know when this will end but I know who does. God is not only there waiting at the end, He is with me now during the journey. During the waiting.
His promises are just as true in times of want as in times of plenty. I know He sees my tiredness and He cares. I am not alone. These are some of my favorite verses, I may have shared them here before. What I love about these verses is that no matter how difficult things are – God is still God. He is in control and we can find joy in Him.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.“
