When we reached the strongholds week of our Rooted study, my experience was not what I expected at all. The behaviors I thought HE might challenge include laziness, procrastination, poor time management, lack of self-control. The list is seemingly endless. One major stronghold… please, I need both hands to count my areas of weakness. While I should not be surprised, HE often does not lead where I expect.
In HIS perfect timing HE reveals all things. Here is where HE took me: I dread Fall and Winter and shift thoughtlessly into survival mode. As the days grow shorter and colder, the list of things I need to accomplish to get through becomes less and less. I am sad to say the only difference between my lists before and after coming to Christ is the addition of church and community group attendance in the must-do category.
These behaviors are auto-pilot, and while I felt the weight always, I gave little attention and little prayer to the bigger picture. If you asked, I would simply say I hate cold and dark. A couple weeks ago HE showed me my significant stronghold. The memories and feelings of a lifetime reveal how much the shift in seasons left me feeling trapped, powerless, and in despair. While I was a good student, my parents and some of my siblings struggled mightily. Growing up in a time where there were few resources and understanding made home life an ever-erupting pressure cooker. In many ways I am still that little girl powerless to make things better, waiting with white knuckles for the season to pass. Until now I have continued living in my weakness not HIS strength (2 Corinthians 12:9).
HE says I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17 — Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come), free from the weight of my past. It is time for me to let go of this stronghold and live everyday for HIM (not just April-August). For the first time, I am looking forward to tomorrow no matter the weather.