Ever Wonder What Makes a Marriage Truly Last?
In a world where relationships often feel like they’re built on shifting sands, many of us find ourselves asking: What does it take to build a marriage that not only survives but thrives? Whether you’re single, married, or somewhere in between, understanding the biblical foundation for marriage can transform your perspective and relationships.
The Covenant vs. Contract Mindset
When we think about marriage, it’s easy to fall into the trap of viewing it as a contract—a legal agreement focused on protecting our rights and limiting our responsibilities. But the Bible calls us to something deeper: a covenant. This is a relational commitment where we willingly give up our rights and embrace responsibilities, mirroring the relationship between Christ and the Church.
In Matthew 19, Jesus challenges the Pharisees’ contractual mindset by pointing them back to Genesis, emphasizing that marriage is a divine union where two become one flesh. This covenantal view is foundational, reminding us that marriage is not about what we can get, but what we can give.
You Are Complete in Christ
A common expectation is that our spouse will complete us, filling the voids in our lives. However, the biblical truth is that we are already complete in Christ. Colossians 2:10 tells us that our union with Christ makes us whole. Our spouse is meant to complement us, not complete us. This perspective frees us to love our spouse without the pressure of them being our everything.
Peter, a married man himself, reminds us in 2 Peter 1:3 that God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. When we anchor our identity in Christ, we can approach marriage from a place of fullness rather than neediness.
Prioritizing Your Relationship with God
Another expectation is that our spouse will always put us first. Yet, the biblical model places Jesus as our number one, with our spouse as our number two. Matthew 22:37-39 calls us to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and then to love our neighbor—our spouse—as ourselves. By seeking God first, we are better equipped to love our spouse fully.
Practical ways to seek God together include praying, reading Scripture, and worshiping as a couple. These practices help align your marriage with God’s mission, creating a strong foundation that can withstand life’s storms.
Practical Takeaways for a Stronger Marriage
- Embrace the Covenant Mindset: Reflect on whether you view your marriage as a contract or a covenant. Ask God to help you embrace the biblical model of giving up your rights and taking on responsibilities.
- Find Completeness in Christ: Spend time in prayer and Scripture, asking God to remind you of your completeness in Him. This will free you to love your spouse as a complement, not a necessity.
- Seek God Together: Make it a priority to pray and read the Bible together. Consider creating spiritual traditions that draw you closer to God and each other.
A Call to Action
If you’re ready to transform your marriage or prepare for a future one, start by aligning your expectations with biblical truths. Let go of false expectations and embrace the covenant love God designed for marriage.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and the example of covenant love You’ve given us through Christ. Help us to build our relationships on the solid foundation of Your Word. May we find our completeness in You and seek to love our spouses as You have loved us. Guide us in prioritizing our relationship with You, so that we may live on mission together. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
By embracing these biblical principles, you can cultivate a marriage that not only endures but flourishes, reflecting the love and grace of Christ to the world.
